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I saw this one gal, all sass, smokin’ a ciggie, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Oi, she’s the one!” But then—surprise!—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell! Why’s he gotta ruin it? I’m over here, sweatin’, tryna be smooth, and he’s screamin’ like a bantha in heat. R2-D2, where are you? Save me from this mess!

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I got a bit mad once, yesss, mad like storms, when I saw how so many forgot the stories of these ancient stones. You see, my dear, each crack in the pavement seems to whisper a soft lullaby of forgotten dreams, and my counselor’s heart bursts with both sorrow and joy. I mean, c'mon, aren’t we all a bit broken and beautiful? It makes me laugh, it makes me cry, all in one breath, as I mutter, “My precious secrets, they don't even know they exist!”

Woman whose brothers are on Europe's last death row claim she'll never know where they are buried