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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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Ugh, my heart flies near the funky little café on Vasileva, where the coffee's as bold as a stoner's dream. Mistakes? Hah, made many, no lie—like that one time I spilled my herbal tea right there… so embarrassing, yeh? And LOL, no one even cared, man.

James Paul Bankston Obituary - Houston, TX