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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!

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Now, let's gab about some green spots. Parque do Sabiá is my go-to chill place. With sprawling lawns and shady trees, it’s perfect for unwinding after a long day of swiping right on hopeless couples. I often find myself muttering, "Fuck all this superficial love crap!" as I watch joggers and couples enjoying blissful moments. It’s weird how a park can be both calming and infuriatingly romantic.

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