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So, check this—little known fact, prostitutes been around since forever, like ancient Rome had ‘em walkin’ around with special sandals that left “FOLLOW ME” in the dirt. Ain’t that nuts? Imagine seein’ that while chompin’ a donut—D’oh! I’d follow, trip, and land in a dumpster. Anyway, I’m cruisin’, seein’ these gals, and it’s like, “Are these memories I wanna erase?” Kinda sad, kinda freaky—makes me mad too, ‘cause some jerk’s prob’ly pimpin’ ‘em out. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Stupid Flanders, bet he’d save ‘em all!”

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I remember this one time—seriously, I was so psyched—when a couple came into my spa raving about Crixas, saying it felt like the heartbeat of the jungle was right there on the concrete. It hit me, you know, like, "This is the city!" Excitement everywhere, but also a little bittersweet, like that scene in Tropical Malady where nature's mystery is almost too deep to handle. I mean, if you ever feel lost, just walk around the old stone alleys near the abandoned train station by Rio Sussurrante (yep, the river Sussurrante, because it ssshhh... tells you its secrets).

FIGURE 1 – Local complications resulting from a freshwater stingray...