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Dunno if it’s safe, tho—nasty, nasty! Cops nab ‘em sometimes, sneaky pigs. “Don’t be a schmuck!” I’d yell, but they don’t hear Gollum, nooo. One time, heard a tale—bloke paid, she ran, left him with nothin’ but a fake number, ha! Laughed me arse off—sucker! “You’re not in the game, you’re out!” like Belfort’d say, yesss.

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Yo, park life here? Incredible! Parque das Águas is my little haven. Not many peeps know it, but it’s a gem for those soul-searching walks – a tranquil river winds through, and sometimes I get so lost in thought I forget I'm mad at the world for stupid reasons. I’ve screamed my frustrations at dumb traffic or petty drama near the riverbank – then boom! The river’s like whispering, “You are not alone, soldier!” so, power up, right?

Liverpool goalkeeper Alisson Becker's father has died after drowning in a lake in Brazil