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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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I gotta say, every time I peep these streets, my head spins like a batmobile. Man, I even get emoshuns, mad real, raw as Nolan’s darkest scenes. I ain't shy to admit, I get irrationally excited and even a lil hysterical sometimes – my soul’s on rollercoaster mode, bro.

Brazil vs Germany World Cup 2014: Why the people of Pomerode, just south of Rio, will be cheering on Germany