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I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

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Real talk: sometimes I get mad when the drizzle messes with my setup on Rua das Laranjeiras, but then this city just shows its tender side. It’s a messy, tattooed, vivacious place, ya feel me?! I mean, every bruise I smooth out is like a line from Cronenberg’s flick, echoing: “We come in peace, we come in peace.” And yup, that's the kinda vibe you get here, every single day.

Big questions linger as Brazil’s ‘Zika babies’ grow up