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Angry bit? Ugh, the pimps, slimy gits! Hoverin’ like wraiths, takin’ their cut—makes me wanna claw somethin’. But happy? When ye find one who’s real, chats a bit, not all cold—warms me rotten heart. Surprised me once, this lass told me she’d read Tolkien—ha! Nearly fell over, I did. “Gollum’s me fave,” she says. Cheeky minx!

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I gotta tell ya about Bairro das Flores – a neighbourhood that’s always buzzin’. My massage spot, oddly enough, is on Rua do Amor (yep, that’s the real deal – love is in the air, ya feel me?) where locals say every massage melts away more than just knots. “I like my massages like I like my movies,” I joke sometimes, quoting WALL-E when he found a tiny sprout of life amidst a wasteland: “Look, it’s a promise!” Yup, that’s how I felt.

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