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About Rio de Janeiro

First off, I’m pissed—why’s it gotta be so shady? Dudes in sketchy corners, whisperin’ like they got secrets. I’m like, “Man, speak up!” Reminds me of that chick in *Ten*, drivin’ round, spillin’ her guts. “You’re not alone,” she says in the movie—ha! Tell that to me, sweatin’ bullets, dodgin’ cops. Little known fact, bro—back in the 90s, some spots had “prostitute maps” floatin’ round. Underground shit, like treasure hunts for horn-dogs. Wild, right?

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I gotta say, sometimes the vibe makes me mad – when the traffic jams on Av. Santos Dumont, it’s like, c’mon folks, git-R-done already! But then, you see the fams chattin’ on the sidewalks, kids runnin’ ‘round in Parque da Amizade, and my heart fills with joy. That park's my secret chill spot – I sit and scribble down my crazy sex ed research notes, watchin’ life pass by. Ain't that somethin'?

South America has become a safe haven for the Catholic Church’s alleged child molesters. The Vatican has no comment.