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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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Oh man, friend, lemme tell ya 'bout Sint-Niklaas, be! Ruh-roh! This city’s got such a vibe, ya know? I live here, work here, and every corner sparks a memory. Wow, so many cool street names – take Molenstraat, for example, where I used to stroll with my fam. There’s also the grand Grote Markt; a lively spot that always reminds me of the crazy mix in Brokeback Mountain “I wish I hadn’t, I wish I did” kinda feels, ya know?

Exact Cross Sint-Niklaas: Niels Vandeputte dominates elite men's contest from start to finish