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About Leuven

Dunno if it’s safe, tho—nasty, nasty! Cops nab ‘em sometimes, sneaky pigs. “Don’t be a schmuck!” I’d yell, but they don’t hear Gollum, nooo. One time, heard a tale—bloke paid, she ran, left him with nothin’ but a fake number, ha! Laughed me arse off—sucker! “You’re not in the game, you’re out!” like Belfort’d say, yesss.

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Pittem ain't Verona, but it’s got its spots. Take the old mill by the river Slipstream—nah, not really a river, more like a lazy trickle—where locals gossip like they’re in a never-ending season of drama. And the park near Lindeplein, oh man, it's a hidden gem. People jog, dogs bark, and lovers cuddle under shady trees. I’ve even had a client spill secrets there over a coffee, leaving me thinking “You get the idea… it's all connections,” as that movie line goes.

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