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So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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Man, and then there’s Vismarkt, a crazy blend of modern eats and antique charm. I always get so mad when it's too crowded, but then the day's made. Crazy, right? And then, wow, the vibe is unpredictably raw. You can almost hear whispered lines like, "Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel," but then you snap back to here, feeling everything in bits.

Koppenbergcross: Lars van der Haar storms to victory on iconic cobbled climb