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So I’m skulkin’, right? Eyes peeled, heart thumpin’—makes me mad, all these sneaky coppers about! Nearly got nabbed once, swear it! “Oh Frank, how could you?”—like Cathy in the flick, all shocked. Pfft, hypocrites everywhere! Saw this one gal, tho, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. Rough lookin’, but kinda sad, y’know? Made me happy, weirdly—real folk, not fake. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mutters, ‘cause them posh types wouldn’t dare look twice.

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Oi mate, listen up – Lendelede is a proper slice of life, y'know? I’ve been livin’ here for ages, and lemme tell ya, this place is wild. Right from the centre, you got Dorpstraat buzzin’ on a busy mornin’ – people n chat, bikes flyin’ round like mad. “Like Ten, life's a ride, innit?” as they say – o’er and over, man.

British woman visits the Flemish village her grandmother was named after