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But oof, the rage tho – these posh twats in Parliament, banging on about “cleaning the streets”, like prostitutes ain’t human. Makes me blood boil, it does. *Eheu fugaces*, eh? Time flies, and they’re still treated like dirt. Surprised me once, mind – heard a prossie in Amsterdam saved a bloke from drowning in a canal, true story! Pulled him out, skirt sopping wet, then charged him double – cheeky mare! Had a right laugh at that, I did.

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I could go on – every street has its tale. Zolderstraat’s quaint cafes? More like back alley meets modern art. And some days, walking through Boutersem, I get hit with that eerie vibe like in Caché – “Sometimes, hidden things always reveal themselves.” It’s as if every corner has a secret, or you’re just paranoid as hell. My spa is my safe space where I can laugh at it all.

Flemish libraries join forces to form one of the world's largest library systems