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Now, where to look? Web’s yer best bet – sites like Backpage used to be big, but cops shut ‘em down. Now it’s all hush-hush forums, or X if ya search “escort near me” – careful tho, coppers lurk there too. Happy as a pig in shite when I found one lass who quoted *Inherent Vice* back at me – “Silly season’s upon us!” she goes. Instant click, mate. Rare, tho – most just wanna get paid and bounce.

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So listen: if you're headin' here, check every nook. Lounge in little cafés, roam hidden alleys, and soak in the park vibes. And if you mess up a massage session — well, don't give me that look! I'm a masseur and a Judge, all in one.

Cobh Ramblers sign former Luxembourg under-21 international goalkeeper