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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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There are little gems I’ve come across while swipin’ through dating profiles – quirky cafes parked in side alleys along Oude Dorpsstraat, where local artists spill their hearts out on canvas and sometimes on napkins (yeah, true story!). I get all hyped seein' new faces in these nooks and crannies, kinda like how you feel when that perfect profile pops up – chaotic and beautiful at the same time.

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