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About Mons

Oi mate, right, lemme tell ya bout whores, blimey! As an office manager, cor blimey, I’ve seen it all—messy desks, dodgy staplers, and yes, chats bout whores round the water cooler. Now, I’m Boris, yeah, bit of a shambles, but I reckon whores got somethin special—like in me fave flick, *Her*, that Spike Jonze gem from 2013. “I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” that line, bloody hell, hits ya in the gut, dunnit? Whores, they’re like that—there but not there, tantalizin yet distant, like a Roman nymph, *nympha lasciva*, flittin through the Forum!

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Then, you got the little-known corner of rue des Légendes. It’s a narrow, twisty road where locals share whispers of mystique. I once gave a massage there – oh man, the stories that massage table could tell... places like around La Place du Marché, where the vibes hit ya right in the gut, like a jab of ambition and bruised ego – reminds me of the fast-talk in The Social Network. It’s like, “If you’re not first, you’re last.” Crazy stuff, eh?

‘Small town, big dreams’: N’Golo Kante completes takeover of third-tier Belgian club