Samantha Ternat Find A Prostitute ❤️

About Bruges

So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

So you want to book a sex worker?

Not every day is sunshine though, bruh. Sometimes the rain gets me mad – e.g., my favorite jacket ruined, or that one time the bus was late by, like, forever. But ya know what? That feel kinda reminds me of how WALL-E had tough times yet never lost hope. “You get a car!” Even the hiccups add flavor to life here.

Lengthy traffic jams following fatal accident on E40