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So I’m searchin’, right? Web’s full of ‘em—craigslist, backpage, whatever. Sketchy sites, shady dudes, pisses me off! “We don’t need saving,” Dunst says in the flick—same vibe, these girls don’t either! Independent, tough, I respect that, bigly. One time, this gal—hot, hottest ever—tells me she’s got a PhD. A PhD! Blew my mind, folks, shocked me. Prostitute with brains? Rare, super rare.

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Oh honey, lemme tell ya 'bout Sleidinge (be)! This lil' town, it's quirky as all get-out – like, I'm jawin’ on every dang street! So, ya got rue de l’Eglise – a cobble stone street, smellin’ like fresh baked bread waftin’ from that tiny boulangerie over yonder. I swear, walkin’ there, you’d feel like you just stepped into some odd Quentin Tarantino flick. "I love rumors!" I’d shout sometimes, just like in Inglourious Basterds – shoot, it’s that kinda vibe down here.

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