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About Antwerp

First off, its a beast—2,500 metres, jagged as hell, snow half the year. Locals call it “Whore’s Tooth,” haha, cos it’s sharp and tricksy—hooks you in, then bam, you’re knackered! Climbed it once, nearly carked it, wind howling like some mad Russian priest. Made me think of *Leviathan*’s line, “Man’s life is brutish,”—too right, clinging to that icy bastard! Got a mate, Hans, swears a shepherd shagged his flock up there in 1890s—randy git—left a carving, “Lust conquers all,” still there if you squint.

Mad love for this hood, bro. Old town’s got hidden gems – tiny cafés on Dorpsplein, quirky boutiques on Kerkstraat. One time, I bumped into a local legend – a Dutchie, proper mad knows his gidda. Dude ranted about the tabloids. I was like “Bruv, chill!” But it was lit.

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