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I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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My fav neighborhood? Hands down, Oud Vlam. It’s loud, colourful, and full of unexpected surprises. Tiny cafes on Korr Ave serve the best local brews – trust me, a shot of espresso there feels like a knockout punch. I’ve even seen spontaneous street art battles that burst into life like epic showdowns from Christopher Nolan's flick – razzle dazzle, chaos, and a whole lotta passion.

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