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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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Me, as a masseur, I see things that others don't. When laying soft hands on muscles, you hears the silent screams of the body, the like of spilled secrets in the vibration of every stroke. I get these visions, kind of like when Edward Yang’s words flash in me head, "Life flows like water," even if, err, we hates it sometimes, but... it flows, we must let it!

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