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I’d be strollin, hair all poofed up, mutterin, “Hmm… he’s not my lover,” like in the movie, but swap “lover” for “pimp”—ha! Imagine me sidesteppin some sleazy dude, “Oh no ya don’t, buster!” Prolly get all weepy too, thinkin bout how she’s got no Mr. Chow to sweep her off her feet. That movie’s all bout what ain’t said, right? But here, it’s loud—catcalls, hagglin over prices, no mystery, just cold hard cash.

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I love wanderin' through L'Observatoire Park—it’s small but mighty. Trees whisper like crazy, and sometimes I swear they talk back. I got so many random thoughts there, oh man! And then, of course, the little river — La Petite Rivièra — glistens under the sun. I sometimes pause there when a date on my app goes oddly well or super botched. Crazy, right?

32 Walloon castles open for free this 1 May