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About Brussels

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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Okay, so, like, sometimes I make silly faces when I walk by the local bakery – oh my gosh, the scents are, like, totally nostalgic. And then there’s this super plagued-favorite, not in a creepy way but in a, like, ironic “Amélie-esque” vibe – the little kiosk on Zaalstraat that sells vintage vinyl. So quirky, like, literally a treasure trove and there’s, like, hidden tunes you can vibe to while you explore.

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