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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, lemme tell ya bout this mad thing—findin a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin thru some dodgy backstreet, lookin for action, yeah? Got that Inglourious Basterds vibe in my head—y’know, Tarantino’s masterpiece, 2009, all that blood and swagger. “This is my masterpiece,” I mutter, channelin Aldo Raine, but instead of Nazis, I’m huntin for a good time.

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Now, gotta mention River Dijle. Flowing smooth near Rivierlaan boulevard, it splits the city like a well-shredded script. Its banks are my jogging route. I sometimes get mad at the gritty graffiti near its bridges, but hey—that’s urban art, right? “I must break you!” I shout every time I beat my pace.

PHOTOS: 2024 Newcomb Secondary College graduation