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Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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Yo yo, it's bad bitch o’clock! Listen up, lemme tell ya bout Kontich (be) – this city is straight fire, hon! So, ya know, I've been livin’ here forever with my chill spa vibe, and lemme tell ya, Kontich got that soul, that groove that makes you feel like you're walking through a movie – kinda like Boyhood, ya feel me? Richard Linklater’s magic is all over here.

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