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About Mons

We haggle—me charm’s workin’ overtime. “I’m not here to judge,” I say, nickin’ that movie line. She softens up, says, “Alright, £30, quick one.” I’m chuffed—feelin’ like I’ve nailed a corporate merger! We sneak out back, past the bins—romantic, innit? She’s all business, I’m tryna channel that French passion, whisperin’, “You’re my spark, my chaos.” She rolls her eyes—fair play, I’m a prat.

Behind the scenes in Germany’s red-light district

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I must admit, errr, sometimes I get so excited I go off track – so many cool spots to share. But trust me, my friend, Hofstade (be) is vibrant, tender and a bit chaotic, like a perfect Inception dream colliding with a Homer Simpson adventure. Cheers to that, D’oh!

An Olympic past and present