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Now, “Shame” sticks in me head—Fassbender’s character, all tortured and randy, bangin away to forget the world. “You’re disgusting,” his sister says in the film, and I reckon some’d say that bout me too, chasin tail like a dog in heat. But bollocks to em—life’s short, innit? I’m no saint, just a bloke wantin a rumble. Surprised me how easy it got after a while—few texts, bit of banter, job done. Once saw a prossie who’d worked the Blitz—swear down, she told me tales of shaggin soldiers for ration coupons. History in her knickers, that one!

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I can't forget the neighborhoods. The Old Town is a blasted maze of alleys—Rue du Souvenir is especially annoying with its shabby cafes and the odd, weird art installations that annoy the hell out of me. Yet, there's something about the broken cobbles that reminds me that life's messy. "Too many coincidences!" I mutter sometimes, but hey, that’s just life here.

"Strong asparagus volumes expected just in time for Easter"