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What got me? The smell – fags, cheap perfume, desperation. Made me sad, yeah, but also – bit of a thrill. “The world’s a gleaner’s paradise,” Varda’d say, and I’m living it! Nearly tripped over a bin, mind – clumsy sod – but I’m laughing, cos it’s proper gritty. Not like them suits in the office, all “strategic alignment” this, “core competencies” that. Nah, this is raw, mate.

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The old church on Kerkplein? Pure vintage charm. Honestly, I've had many a pleasure coaching session in spots like that – weird, right? It's like every brick is steeped in history and scandal. Watched from my window, the river Maas just slippin’ by, endless flow. It’s like life, relentless and a bit messy – just like that quote: "I never meant to offend you." Except here, every day’s the same bloody insult to monotony!

Ghanaian defender Willem Ofori Appiah joins Belgian side Patro Eisden