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About Bruges

Dunno her name—Doris? Slaggy Sue? Who gives a toss! She’s a legend in her own head, struttin like she owns the street. Reckon she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard—sorry, darlin, had to! Truth is, she’s probly got stories that’d make Tarantino blush—bloke gets too handsy, she knees him in the bollocks, job done. Respect, kinda. Still, fuckin tragic—makes me wanna scream, “Wake up, you daft cow!” But nah, she’s in too deep, ain’t she? “We got a deal here, sweetheart,” she’d probly hiss, countin her fivers. Mad world, mate—mad, mad world!

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Neighbourhoods? Oh, plenty! There’s the rough-and-tumble old quarter near Molenstraat. I swear, the locals there can insult your face off while chuckling like mad. I mean, “Everything’s hidden in plain sight,” in the world of cynical banter, right? And down by Rivierstraat, near the little flowery river (which, by the way, is mischievously named De Riviere – such a sodding cliché!), I’ve had my fair share of pissed off customers after a long day.

Belgian man gets seven speeding tickets in one day