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Now, I tried it once, yah? Was all tensed up from stealin’ moons—usual day for Gru. Dis chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m tinkin’, “Dis is nice, but where’s da catch?” Den—lightbulb!—she goes for da tingly spots, ya know, da ones dey don’t show in yoga class. I’m all, “What you gonna do wit dat?” like Sheriff Bell in da movie, all confused but kinda into it. Happy? Oh, I was floatin’, like Vector on his jetpack, but den—boom—angry! She charged me triple, said it’s “special service.” Robbery, I tell ya! Nearly flipped da table, but dem hands, dey were magic, so I let it slide.

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Now, let me gush 'bout the river, De Poort, that trickles by our humble lane near Oosteinde. Its gentle murmur remindeth me of whispers in the wind, a constant murmur of nature's lullaby—aye, even my stressed heart finds respite here. And truth be told, as a counselor, I find solace in hearsay of these natural ballets; each ripple conveys empathy, just as every broken soul seeks wholeness.

Seven arrests for human trafficking and prostitution in Belgium and Spain