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So, I clock dis other lass, yeah, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. I’m like, “Aight, she’s da one.” Slide up, all casual, “Wagwan, darlin’?” She’s cool, bruv, says, “£50, no messin’.” I’m buzzin’, finkin’, “Dis is easier dan datin’!” But den—plot twist—she’s undercover filth! Coppers jump out, I’m leggin’ it, shoutin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?!” Nearly shat meself, fam!

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You hit up Place du Soleil too, oh my god, the vibes are unreal. I remember one time, I sat in a tiny café there (cursed, but the croissants are lit) just watchin’ the passersby. I swear every date I set up on my site kinda echoed that same buzz—hearts full of messiness and charm. “Let’s put a smile on that face,” I’d mumble when a date would actually click.

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