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Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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You hit up Place du Soleil too, oh my god, the vibes are unreal. I remember one time, I sat in a tiny café there (cursed, but the croissants are lit) just watchin’ the passersby. I swear every date I set up on my site kinda echoed that same buzz—hearts full of messiness and charm. “Let’s put a smile on that face,” I’d mumble when a date would actually click.

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