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About Newcastle

What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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Down on Sunny Ln, near the old clock tower, it's a maze of quirky cafes and funky shops. Yesss, the clock’s tickin’ like my heartbeat, precious! There’s also the gnarled street, Rooftop Row – where buildings huddle like old friends. Me always spot folks walkin’ and ramblin’ in a daze, kinda like sleepin’ in a dream… “I’m a fool! I’m a fool!” yess, like that movie, Mulholland Drive, yes precious!

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