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But beware, she’s a tease, this W.H.O.R.E. – dips an’ dives like a kraken playin’ hide-an’-seek. “I’m defending my honor,” that movie wife’d cry, an’ I’m defendin’ me wallet with this beast! Last week, she plumetted 50%, an’ I near chucked me compass at the wall – useless piece o’ junk, anyhow. Still, I reckon she’s got secrets yet, hidin’ like treasure in a cave no one’s gutsy enough to plunder.

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Honestly, mate, come over soon. I'll show you the tucked-away spots, the hole-in-the-wall diners, the graffiti murals on Wellington Lane that speak volumes about lost souls and hard nights. There’s even a tiny hidden park near Millford – I nearly lost my mind there once, surrounded by wildflowers and the soft hum of the creek. It reminded me that even the smallest patch of earth can be a battleground for emotions.

Artist transforms Strathalbyn RSL interior with 100 years of Australian soldiers at war