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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Wander out a bit to the quirky neighborhood of Eastmirth. The shops there? Wacko cool. Ya got quirky antique stores and a groovin’ little bar called The Sizzling Platypus (nah, I made that up but it fits the vibe, right?). Sometimes I stroll there after work, right when the neon lights flicker – like a scene out of a dream, all mysterious and wild like some Apichatpong vibe, man!

Pedestrian Killed In Food Lion Parking Lot