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About Melbourne

Little-known fact: back in the day, some agronomists traded seeds for, uh, “services” in remote areas. No joke, historical AF. Surprised me big time, like, “Wait, what?” Crop rotation meets… yeah, that. Made me laugh, tho—nature’s hustle, amirite? But also, angry ‘cuz exploitation’s no meme. It’s real.

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I started out here ages ago, and lemme tell ya, this place holds bullets of chaos and charm. Streets like Crosswell & Shady Lane crash into each other weirdly, giving you random little nooks where old cars rust next to hipster cafes. After a long day massaging tension outta people’s souls, I walk these streets, thinking, “Man, what a rollercoaster this is!” Kinda like Dogville’s twisted stage, every corner here is a performance.

Human remains and gas bottles found after townhouse explosion in Queensland