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Now, I’m Tyler Perry’s Madea, so I see thangs others don’t, halleluyer! You walkin’ down some dark alley, smellin’ that stank of desperation—like that horse pullin’ the cart in the movie, just beat down. I’m like, “Lord, these folks out here hustlin’!” Makes me wanna holler, “Get yo’self together!” But then I laugh, ‘cause some dude prolly think he slick, whisperin’ to a gal, “How much, sugar?”—and she hit him with a price that’d make yo’ grandma faint! I’m tickled pink, I swear!

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I remember this one time, right, I was closing up, feelin’ all zen after a hectic night—boom, my buddy from the block shouts, “You ever seen a ghost dance on King Street?” I nearly dropped my oils. Murrumba’s got these secrets, hidden like absurd as a movie director’s final cut! And yeah, ya might laugh at how my fingers turned into story-tellers from all those massages—each knot whispered a tale of this city’s mad love and rage.

Man, 21, charged over alleged robbery linked to crash that killed grandmother