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Now, here’s a tidbit—did ya know prossies in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their feet? Crafty sods! Makes ya think, don’t it—history’s full o’ these cheeky mares. Anyway, I’m barterin with this lass, and she’s givin me the eye, like, “You’re a right nutter, you are.” Reminds me o’ that line from the flick—“I’m adopted, did you know that?”—cos I’m feelin like an oddball meself, stood there in me knackered boots.

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Oh, and when I get all zen like, I settle in my favorite nook behind the old community hall on Edgeworth St. Quiet, secret, like a sanctum for my soul. It's there I think of that movie, yess, "A.I. Artificial Intelligence." Remember how that metal boy looked for love and belonging? Just like, my precious, we all need a little lovin', we do!

Comedian Merrick Watts lists insane converted Lilyfield warehouse with rooftop pool