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But here’s the kicker, Clarice… lotta these girls, they’re ghosts. Vanish quick, leave ya holdin nothin but air. Pisses me off! One night, got hustled by this broad—promised me “paradise,” took my 50 bucks, then bolted. Laughed my ass off later—stupid me, huh? “Memory’s a knife,” like the movie says, cuts deep when ya least expect it. Learned fast: trust’s a luxury round here.

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Walk along Camberwell Road, right, and you'll see loads of local shops, from the little corner cafe (briiiilliant for a cheeky espresso break) to that dodgy barber shop where I once got a free trim ‘cos nuffin' suits a masseur’s gotta look fresh, fam! I always say, “Is it ’cos I is black?” even when the locals stare, but anyway.

Keilor East mansion sold after 600 days on the market