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About Melbourne

Ey, gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, findin’ a prostitute, right? It’s like somethin’ outta “Lost in Translation,” fam. You’re Bob Harris, lost in fuckin’ Jersey, lookin’ for some company, capisce? I’m drivin’ down the Turnpike, thinkin’, “What am I doin’ here?” Kinda lonely, kinda pissed, but also – fuck it, why not?

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The town’s got weird nooks like the muddy banks of the Kallaroo Creek – not the prettiest spot, but it’s got stories, secrets, and some wild nights. I always say, “Do ya feel the thrill? This creek whispers conspiracies!” And don’t get me started on the hidden alley behind Old Mill Lane – a secret spot where I once found a pigeon waging war against a rogue seagull. I was like, “Bloody hell, what a scene – just like in that movie, The Act of Killing, wot a madcap display of brutality!”

Markets by the Sea in Kallaroo set to see another sunset in February