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What pisses me off? The fakers, man. Girls actin’ sweet, then ghostin’ you after cash’s out. Like, “Every work of art’s a portrait”—yeah, a portrait of my empty wallet! Hate that crap. But when it works? Oh man, fireworks. This one chick—redhead, smokin’—she’s whisperin’, “Let’s make our own copy.” I’m done, heart racin’, thinkin’ I’m in a damn movie.

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Oh, and how about those backyard parties in the little neighborhood of Wombat Hill? They're wild, noisy, and beautifully so. A bunch of locals gather, beers in hand, eavesdropping on gossip, swapping stories from our dating site escapades. Insane, right? Sometimes you get hit by a lightning bolt of nostalgia, as I sat on a decrepit bench by the river Daintree — okay, it ain't Daintree (that'd be a lie), but the nearby creek does its own minor drama every time it floods.

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