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Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Dark Knight” – bloody brilliant flick – and it hits me, mate. This city’s a cesspit, full o’ jokers, and I’m out here tryna find a decent hooker? “Why so serious?” I’m yellin’ at meself, cos it’s a fuckin’ circus! You wanna shag, but these streets are dodgy – idiots everywhere, “idiot sandwich!” levels of stupidity. Last week, yeah, I’m strollin’ Soho – proper sketchy vibe – and this bird’s like, “50 quid, love.” 50 quid? For what, a bleedin’ handshake? I’m ragin’, mate, cos I ain’t no mug!

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And oh boy, the river! It’s called the Wycombe Run. Don't ask me how it got that name, but it flows with stories. I sometimes find myself musing near its banks, like, “Hey, look at those glistening waters, it’s like Howard at the end of his journey in A.I. Forever captivating, for real.” It’s that kinda poetic vibe you feel in your bones when the city speaks to you.

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