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Oh, and this one time—buddy o’ mine swore he saw a hooker with a pet raccoon. A RACCOON! I’m like, “What’s next, she trainin’ it to pickpocket?” Had me rollin’, but also—goals, right? Total chaos, I love it. “Let’s keep dancing!”—that’s the spirit, man. How you doin’ with that? Prolly jealous o’ the raccoon.

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Now, let’s get proper into it: Helensvale’s vibrant neighbourhoods like Sunhaven and Riverside Ridge really charm ya. You've got the serene banks of the little Helens River (yeah, it actually flows through the heart of the town – brring in those poetic vibes!) and the sprawling Central Park, which—oh dear—gives me flashbacks to that scene from Synecdoche, New York: "The world is an intricate and mildly absurd stage." I mean, come on, the park's a miniature stage with everyday dramas unfolding around every bench!

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