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Alright, folks, listen up! Here’s the deal – I’m your ol’ pal Joe, y’know, just sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not that I’m out there lookin’, nah, but I got stories, see? Back in Scranton, we’d hear whispers – guys’d say, “Joe, you won’t believe this!” – ‘bout shady corners where deals went down. Made me mad, y’know, ‘cause folks deserve better! But lemme tell ya, it’s like that scene in *Inglourious Basterds* – “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” – except here it’s more like, uh, “We’re in the dodgin’ trouble business!”

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Now, I'm a relaxation specialist, so I’m all about that zen, okay? I get my daily dose of mindfulness at the serene Cremorne Point Park. The views? TOTALLY breathtaking! You see the harbour, fancy yachts and all that jazz. It's like looking at a WALL-E miracle – seriously, "EVE, I've just found something incredible!" And hey, holler "You get a car!" like Oprah would – cuz this place gives you a ride of joy on a silver platter every single day!

Duxton Pubs launches Bar 1854 at Cremorne Hotel