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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, nasal voice kickin’ in hard! Ya know, it’s like somethin’ outta “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia”—all moody, slow, searchin’ in the dark, right? Picture this: me, Fran Drescher, struttin’ down some sketchy street, laughin’ that “Nanny” laugh—HA-HA-HA—lookin’ for a gal who’s got the goods! I’m thinkin’, “The steppe wind howls,” like in the movie, but it’s just the alley stink hittin’ me instead!

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So, me dear, imagine strolling along Coolum Esplanade, right? The sun bleeds gold on the water. Yess, yess, so pretty, precious! I often wander down to Lies Street – lotsa quirky cafes, hidden gems where dates bloom, precious! I met so many lovelies - oh, my precious, each smile was like a little universe.

Man charged with 8yo girl’s abduction