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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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Srry if I'm all over the place, my brain jumps like robot beats from A.I.! I mean, sometimes I even write typos fr fr: litlle, rememeber, tehy, reall, speec, happiness, gr8, beautifull, awsome, incredble, uniqe, speshul, calr, thuff, nite, streeet, lool, funn, vibin'.

Boy charged after trio allegedly carried out string of armed robberies at NSW hotels