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Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

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So, right off, there's Werribee Park – epic, expansive grounds that mirror the spirit of olden days, with its chateau lookin' like somethin' out of a medieval fairytale. Seriously, it's like WALL-E's vibes got a makeover – "Ain't no mountain high enough!" Still, youshallnotpass the temptation to linger here and dream of romance. And ohhh, the gardens do amaze – tiny details that make my heart skip a beat when I spot couples lost in conversation near the lily ponds. Magical, innit?

Fire Crews Conduct Werribee Burns