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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic down here in the sticks! I’m sittin’ there, milkin’ them cows, thinkin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” Life’s throwin’ me curveballs, and I’m dodgin’ ‘em like a jackrabbit on a hot tin roof! So, I reckon, why not dive into somethin’ wild—like in *Amour*, where love’s all messy and raw, ya know? “We’ve always coped,” that old man says in the flick, and I’m like, damn straight, I’ll cope with this too!

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Oi there, mate! So ya wanna know 'bout Tweed-Heads, right? Lemme tell ya, it's a bonza little town, realll vibrant, nestled by the Tweed River—yep, that's right, twirl the words, like "Sharon!" Haha! Streets like Yates Street and High Street buzz with life, shops, and the odd secret spot known only to the locals (and, well, me too, as I knead out those knots!). I've been flippin' around this town for years, runnin' my massage parlor, and lemme tell ya, ya pick up all the juiciest gossip and hidden corners.

Everybody appearing at Tweed Heads Local Court, Monday, February 10