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Anyways, I’m strollin’, tryna play it cool. Heart’s racin’—part excited, part “what am I doin’?” Then this dude—total creep—yells, “Hey, greenie, she’s mine!” Made me mad as heck! I’m like, “Back off, pal, I ain’t no coward!” Felt like Bob Ford sneakin’ around Jesse’s house, all tense. “I can’t hardly breathe,” I mutter, quotin’ the movie.

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Also, let me tell ya — the local quirks drive me nuts sometimes, but in a good way. The sound system on the beach blaring old rock tunes? Classic Michael Scott baby – "That's what she said!" when the wind picks up and dances with your hair. It gives you that cringey optimism, like, "Man, we're all just spinning in this crazy dream together!"

Four Cairns beaches to stay closed after two hospitalised